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Sunday, 11 October 2015
How to complain less and be more optimistic
Are you a moaning minnie? Do you bore your friends silly with your petty grievances?
If so, follow these tips from chirpy psychologists on how to complain less and be more happy…
Be a strategic complainer
It’s not realistic to never complain, but complaining in moderation is acheivable. Don’t whine excessively without doing anything to resolve your problems.
Select your listener carefully
Some people are not good audiences for complaining. Find someone who will offer constructive advice to help you deal with your problem and move on.
How bad is it really?
Ask yourself if the situation is as terrible as you think it is, and whether other people would view the issue in the same way? Sometimes it's our attitude that needs changing, and not the situation.
Think of your image
Do you want to be that person...the complainer who people avoid? Or, do you want to be the other person, the optimist who people love to be around?
Keep away from whingers
Moaning is contagious and grumpiness spreads. Surround yourself with non-complainers and everyone will feel better.
Pay attention to the positives
The brain has got a negativity bias, meaning we notice what’s wrong before we notice what’s right. You need to work a little harder at noticing the positives.
What is good in my life?
What am I grateful for?
What has gone well?
Contain your complaint
One part of your life might not be going well, but what areas of your life areworking?
Remember that what you focus on grows
Moaning plunges you into negativity and you can end up pickling in your own unhappiness. Negative emotions are longer-lasting than positive emotions - you may have a moment of joy or a moment of calm, but you can stew in frustration for a whole day.
Set a time limit
If you really can't stop, allow yourself a short block of time, like 10 minutes, to have a good moan and get it out of your system. And then put it away.
Keep a complaint diary
Some things are better left unsaid and this includes some grievances we may have about other people. If you feel you have to vent, write them in a diary, as things never seem quite so bad when they are written down.